CHAPTER TWO: Believe It or Not

Let’s further explore this idea of surrendering our old beliefs and outdated systems. Of truly examining the assumptions we hold. Of challenging ourselves to look honestly at our own beliefs and how they may or may not be helping the collective peace and growth of the human species.

Why? Very simply, because people’s beliefs underlie everything from the merest of random thoughts to the severest of inhumane violence. And here’s where it gets crazy. Most of us never even look at what we believe. We just accept that how we feel and think about the world is the way it is. Yet, most beliefs that are damaging (to ourselves and others) are so subconscious we don’t even know they’re there, that we have them. We walk around in daily life as if we’re in control of what we’re thinking and doing, when the “man behind the curtain” we’re not supposed to look at is actually running the show. Our subconscious beliefs are what’s behind the curtain, not some hot-air-filled white guy pretending to be a wizard, who gives out awards and then flies off in a hot-air balloon powered basket.

Our deep, often unconscious, beliefs and assumptions determine whether we have the courage to be ourselves or continuously cast about outside of ourselves hoping others will define who we are. In order to free ourselves from the bonds of emotional dependence we need to explore our hidden beliefs and assumptions—how we got these hidden dragons, why we’re afraid to look at them, and what we can do about them once we do find the courage to observe them. -Sue Patton Thoele, THE COURAGE TO BE YOURSELF

Erroneous messages we swallow whole as children become our own underlying assumptions and implicit beliefs, and we guide our lives accordingly by becoming emotionally dependent on other people because “they must know better than we do.” Since most of these notions are hidden, we’re unaware of the extent to which they rule our actions and reactions—unless we consciously ferret them out in order to transform them. Underlying is the operative word, as these assumptions are under our conscious awareness and lie to us about reality. Freeing ourselves from limiting and devaluing beliefs is the key to living up to our potential and expressing our authenticity. -Sue Patton Thoele, THE COURAGE TO BE YOURSELF

When I was emailing with one of my closest friends about this “belief conundrum,” she said something along the lines of “This politician and his minions won’t change their minds about anything and non-violent communication won’t work with them.” I’m paraphrasing, but that’s close.

I got the impression she thought I was referring to challenging beliefs as walking up to one of those opposing political minions and trying to convince them to change their opinion.

Ah, yeah...No. That would probably never work with anyone.

The thing is, we’re all addicted to being “right.” I swear, every single darned one of us. We only feel comfortable with people who believe and think and act the way we do. Everybody else is wrong. They have to be. Because we have to be right.

Do you see what an insane cycle this kind of thinking creates? If we all think we’re right, which each of us does, then we make approximately half of the US population wrong. So we act like a bunch of second graders at recess insisting we play either this game or that because only one of them is the right game to play. Oh, and there’s only one right way to play it, too.

Of course, I think I’m right. Or course, you think you’re right. That politician I voted for thinks she’s right and the one my brother voted for thinks he’s right.

We all think we’re right.

Where the heck has being “right” gotten us? Can we just stop the insanity already?

It is impossible not to believe what you see, but it is equally impossible to see what you do not believe. Perceptions are built up on the basis of experience, and experience leads to beliefs. It is not until beliefs are fixed that perceptions stabilize. In effect, then, what you believe you do see. -Foundation For Inner Peace, A COURSE IN MIRACLES

Read that again, please. What we believe, we see.  

If we want to see something different, or differently, then we need to change what we believe deep down in our subconscious minds.

If we want to see something different, we need to change what we believe.

There is a collective consciousness we share that needs to be addressed...The irony of de-polarization is that it’s never about changing others and always about changing myself. -James F. Twyman, I DON’T KNOW, MAYBE, I LOVE YOU

When I first felt those abdominal pains, on and off for months, I convinced myself that they would go away. Even though they kept coming back, repeatedly. But I didn’t want to believe it was anything serious. AND I was afraid of mentioning the severity of my symptoms to my doctor because I didn’t know whether or not insurance would pay for the required testing. I wanted to wait until I needed a colonoscopy anyway.

Fear kept me from admitting the truth to myself and voicing it to others.

Not telling the truth to myself or others made me horribly sick.

And I’m not talking about just the result of my physical illness, but also my choices and the energy involved leading up to those initial symptoms. All those years of trying to “keep peace” in different family situations and social groups at the expense of being real. Instead of showing up as who I truly and authentically am in all my weird, label-resisting, spiritual self.

Ignoring the truth taught me a huge, painful and extremely valuable lesson.

We’ve now decided that truth is negotiable. -George Clooney in an interview, reflecting on the difference between the journalistic era of Edward R. Murrow and the current time. This statement highlights his concern about the increasing pressure on truth and honesty, particularly in the context of journalism and public discourse, Google AI Overview.

Let’s not keep truth from ourselves in deciding to determine what truth truly is. We certainly can’t convince anyone else of our truth but we can peel away, from our own eyes, the layers of misunderstanding and old beliefs that no longer are of highest service to all of humanery.

Along the lines of George Clooney’s comment about truth now being negotiable, which chilled my blood more than just about anything else I’ve heard in the last several months, I’ve noticed a trend of what I will call “warping the conversation.”  

I’m a visual thinker; I see things in my mind’s eye to help me understand, interpret and confirm or solidify different concepts. For example, when I want to cleanse negative attack thoughts from my consciousness, I sometimes picture this old vintage washing machine that used to be in the basement of our family home and Jesus running it, smiling at me, while he wipes away the negativity. Go ahead and laugh if you want to; it helps me.

I try not to be a “Conversation Warper”, but it isn’t always easy. You know, being human and all.

The best example coming to me is from an experience in my online ostomy support group.

I became a member of a minority population when I had big chunks cut out of my intestines and the end of what remained of my colon was inserted into a hole cut through my abdomen. We ostomates, who poop into a bag, experience things other people don’t. Our fears, frustrations and celebrations are most meaningful with others in the same context, who’ve had similar experiences.

My ostomy is meant to be temporary, so I will undergo a reversal and reconnection surgery before long. All the same, I need all the support I can both get and give. And of course there’s never a guarantee any surgery will be successful.

I got home from the hospital, a week before Christmas, at the weight of 89.1 pounds. Skin and bones, as the cliche goes. I’d taken a bunch of antibiotics, because of multiple infections, and developed a C Diff infection. Antibiotics cause it, and antibiotics are supposed to be the cure – oh, the irony. Basically, C Diff means “bad” bacteria colonized, can lead to horrific diarrhea, and many people get extremely sick with it and end up in the hospital.

I was bound and determined not to end up in the hospital again so soon and worked with my naturopath along with the “traditional” medical team. I feel fortunate to know Dr. Jen; she went to school to become an ND and for her degree in Chinese Medicine...at the same time! She must not have slept for a few years, good gravy. Whip smart.  

Anyhoo, I took the required round of antibiotics – knowing there was a good chance it wouldn’t work – and also ordered the three supplements Dr. Jen prescribed, to load up my gut with good bacteria and support my immune system. I ate everything I needed to eat (lots of veggies and lean protein, healthy fats, bacteria-laden yogurt) and avoided sugar and other carbs.

Having been warned about how hard it can be to recover from a C Diff infection, I was pleasantly surprised that it subsided relatively quickly. It came back briefly when I caught an upper respiratory virus my husband brought home, but again subsided quickly.

So, I wanted to share the success I had with the ostomy support group. I took a photo of the three supplement bottles and posted them with a brief comment and a photo of the book SUPER GUT by William Davis, MD.

One of the first comments came from ‘Victor’, who said, “You just fell to another snake oil. I will bet that those products are ALSO sold by that naturopath."

‘Victor’ wrote a bunch of stuff after that, like that eating meat and bacon and all that kind of junk is good. Much of it was helpful, but he basically lost me with the first sentence. You just fell to another snake oil. Excuse me, but that’s not even proper English – I can really get going on that if you let me. It should have been “fell prey to” another snake oil “hoax” – to get precise about grammar. That was the small thing, but he also questioned my intelligence or gullibility and the integrity of my Naturopath, and that was the big thing. I wasn’t about to let that go.

I responded briefly about how the book referenced a hunter/gatherer type diet and that the supplements had been prescribed because of the C Diff infection. Here’s Victor’s full response.

“C Diff is not cured with supplements let me start by saying that. Its a gram positive BACTERIA, if that "naturopath" told you it can be done, he wanted your money badly. And for diarrhea 8 oz of kefir 2x a day or plain old apple pectin (not the fruit) would do the job. BUT diarrhea is not going to go away no matter what you eat drink sip gulp if you have c diff (antibiotics to eradicate c diff which will cause more diarrhea hence you’ll need LIVE probiotics, not all that dead powder sold OTC) the longer c diff is in you, the harder it gets and gets resistant to antibiotics really quick. Do the right thing and see a real doctor about that infection is not to take it lightly.”

I knew that I already had plenty of doctors. That I wasn’t taking it lightly. I knew that Victor was “wrong” about the powder being over the counter. And I really wanted to ignore everything he said and just let the feeling pass.

But, guess what? It didn’t. Even Jesus with the washing machine wasn’t helping; I kept thinking about it.

There are several ways anyone could have approached this conversation. Let’s say I’m vegetarian (I’m not). I could have reacted to his comment about eating all the meat and bacon and junk food by saying something like this:

Laura: I’m a vegetarian, you idiot.

Victor: That’s what got you into this situation in the first place. Vegetarian’s don’t get it – everybody has to have animal protein.

Laura: I have done enormous research; the vegetables I eat haven’t contributed to this at all and eating animals is not okay. Have you seen what science labs do with monkeys and rats? It’s terrible!

Victor: I wish people like you weren’t so naive and stupid. If testing isn’t done on animals, how can we know what humans need to survive?

That’s one example – you can probably think of a dozen others. The conversation could easily have quickly spiraled downward with fresh zingers (judgement and needing to be “right”) in each response until somebody was ready to punch the wall. Or the other person.

Because the thought wouldn’t leave my consciousness after a few days, I wrote this: Just clearing up a couple misconceptions for others who may be reading. Perhaps someone else had mentioned a “he" naturopath or OTC powder; it wasn't me. I've known my naturopath for years and there is a high level of trust there. These supplements were recommended for short term use, not as a diet replacement, and have helped me. That's why I mentioned them. They've helped me. I wouldn't recommend something that didn't help me. The powder arrives refrigerated and is stored in the refrigerator. The doctors on my medical team who approve of these supplements for this short term purpose include my PCP, general surgeon, GI Specialist, naturopath, and colorectal surgeon. The general surgeon referred me to the naturopath for "the kind of probiotics naturopaths recommend; you know, the kind you store in the refrigerator."

There were no other comments and that was the end of the conversation.

I don’t even know if anybody read it.

But it made me feel better, so I was able to come to a close in my own mind. Without attacking anyone else, or at least that was my intention.

That’s how we create peace in the world, one human at a time. We create inner peace, individually, under any and all circumstances, to the very best of our ability.

One human in peace meets another human in peace, and we have a Humanery Peace Movement.