You’re Okay and I’m Okay

My husband and I are preparing for a big move – from Oregon to my home state of South Dakota. The house we will be living in (likely for a couple of years anyway) in Watertown is less than two miles from my 80-year-old mother’s assisted living apartment, which is the primary reason for this move. The moving company is packing and loading late July, and we should be settling in early August. So, in just a few weeks, I’ll be Watertown’s Transformational Voice® (Transformational Voice® is a registered trademark of Transformational Voice® Training Institute, LLC, and Linda Brice) Teacher instead of Lake Oswego’s! I will continue teaching out-of-state students via Zoom.

In the meantime, I’ve been working with new students who only need a few lessons to overcome vocal challenges. These challenges have ranged from vocal fry/fatigue to casual singers who’ve never accessed their higher vocal registers to severe anxiety with public speaking.

Yet one thing has stuck with me as a common thread these last couple of weeks. Not just in working with my students, but in what I have been reading and observing in general.

That common thread is the fallacy that we need to improve ourselves.

Our voices aren’t right. We aren’t right. We need to change this, add to that, stop doing something else.

When I think of all the times over the years I thought I’d feel better about myself if only I were to... My gosh, just reflecting on it is exhausting. Why do we do this to ourselves? Is this an American thing, a Hollywood thing, or is it common in other countries? Let me know your thoughts on the blog.

I’m getting together with my good Oregon friends before the move. Today I had lunch with three fabulous women I originally met through the international speaking and leadership organization, Toastmasters. Stephanie (https://www.instagram.com/jointhebeautyrevolution) wrote this in her most recent newsletter: You probably already know that I have a lot to say in the realms of body, diet, nourishment, and beauty. Over the past several years, I have been working hard trying to learn, understand and experiment with concepts and ideas that will help the women I love

• ditch diet culture and its unhelpful ideology,

• befriend their bodies, and

• learn to nourish themselves for real. 

Stephanie’s is a healthy attitude, especially now that companies like Botox are using terms like ‘prejuvenation’ and in TV ads ‘moderate to severe lines’ as something like a medical diagnosis!

Skin wrinkles as we age.

It’s what happens.

It’s not a pathology.

Barbara (formerly Stanny) Huson has been my main financial mentor since I first heard her speak at an event for financial advisors in Portland, Oregon, around 25 years ago. I then read her book Secrets of Six Figure Women and co-founded a women’s group called Abundance Circle Experience, or ACE for short, using that book as a guide. I’m a member of her Wealth Connection Circle.

Barbara’s last blog post: https://www.barbara-huson.com/practicing-radical-self-acceptance-3/ describes well what I’m talking about here.

Maryn Azoff is a vocal coach I discovered through Daily OM shortly after recovering from three major surgeries and medical leave. I have been subscribing to her newsletter ever since. Maryn teaches a Primal Scream class that is like nothing I’ve experienced before, and I highly recommend it. Her last newsletter struck me, too. Here’s the YouTube video featured therein: Finding Your True Voice Through Nature https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOAU4zEFMHk.

After I watched her video, I went into the back yard for some reason and there I saw the hydrangea plant in its blooming glory. The leaves and blossoms were eager, open, swaying in the breeze. I felt a tingling of joy and appreciation, and dare I say acknowledgement?, from the hydrangea.

We could all be like hydrangeas. Knowing we don’t need to improve.

I heard a phrase years ago: God doesn’t make junk. It might have been a bumper sticker.

The creator of the Universe wouldn’t design anything less than perfect. We humans make up our own faults. It’s fun to grow into our potential and learn new things. I’m always taking a new class, working with different people, expanding what I believe is possible.

But not anymore because I think I’m not okay as I am. I know I am. And I know you are.

Let’s be okay and grow together, okay?