Simply Authentic...Your Soul Voice is Calling. The Art of Not Bashing Yourself

The Art of Not Bashing Yourself I met a fantastic woman named Stephanie through my WE Toasted Toastmasters club, and simply must tell you what I heard in her “Living Joyfully in Today’s Reality” presentation at a women’s conference. But first, allow me to back-track. Stephanie is the mother of a daughter and two sons, and – for now – three sons, as her family is hosting a teenage foreign exchange student from South Korea. They are having a fantastic time together. After Minho had been part of the family for a few months, Stephanie winkingly asked if he’d met any cute girls in school. His answer? There are no cute girls in America. Digging deeper to understand his response, Stephanie learned that Minho’s idea of what American women look like was formed by what he sees in the media…movies, magazines, ads. He sincerely expected to come here and find that all American women look like those air-brushed ads and well-lit movie and TV scenes with body doubles. Not to be a downer, but if this isn’t bad enough, Stephanie also learned that plastic surgery among young South Korean women is as standard as braces for straight teeth have become here in the west – the “double eyelid” surgery being paramount. I teared up when Stephanie told me this. How can it be that a Hollywoodified image is causing an entire population to erase the facial qualities of their culture? I find this incredibly, indelibly, horrifyingly sad. Not being one to linger in misery…nor is Stephanie…here I go with some antidotes (not to be confused with anecdotes) from her presentation. 1) Appreciate your body. Learn to say “thank you” for everything your body does for you. Write a full thank you letter to your body. This one exercise can literally change your life. 2) Consider your “problem area.” For me, it’s my rapidly expanded menopausal mid-section…I used to have an actual waist and a flat belly!!! (Of course that was back when I was convinced my boobs were too small. Sound familiar?) What do you say to yourself about that area of your body? Call your best gal pal and say that to her. You can’t do it, right? Then don’t say it to yourself. As Stephanie says, “That’s self-abuse, ladies.” Instead, focus on all the parts you love. I have a great smile, love my eyes, great neck, legs, ankles and a rather fantastic ass after all these years. Oh, and I love the hair I used to hate until it started getting curly in my thirties. I now adore my hair. 3) Remember to move your body in whatever manner feels best to you. If the word “exercise” is a trigger, don’t use it – say dance, hula-hoop, yoga, walking in the park, shooting hoops – just move your lovely body, because our bodies love to be flexible, strong and healthy. This, my friends, is the art of not bashing yourself, thanks to my friend, Stephanie. How can you think kindly about your body, right now, today? Please post it on the blog to help others. Your body is far more important and powerful as an instrument for your use than it is as an ornament to admire. –beatyredefined.net If the idea of speaking in public about your business leaves you wanting to crawl under the covers and hide all day, e-mail me at laurahanj@comcast.net to learn more about Authentic Performance for Speakers, Managers and Entrepreneurs. This is a short, mightily focused and affordable program to get you speaking in a way that will have your clients knocking down the door to work with you. If you found this post helpful, please spread the love and pass it along to a friend! Authentically Yours, Laura