Simply Authentic...Your Soul Voice is Calling. Just Because Your Heart Says So

Just Because Your Heart Says So Do you love the film Pay It Forward as much as I do? Yes, the ending is heart-breaking; I tear up just thinking about it. All the same, as an actor, I’m inspired by the performances of Helen Hunt, Kevin Spacey, a young Haley Joel Osment, and the entire cast. As a writer, I applaud Catherine Ryan Hyde (book) and Leslie Dixon (screenplay.) And as a recently-admitted-director-wanna-be (some day), I bow to Mimi Leder. Pay It Forward is a great example of what happens when each of the extraordinarily complicated elements of movie-making come together perfectly, and as a result the audience has a magical and believable cinematic experience from start to finish. That magical movie combustion doesn’t happen often - especially with the main theme of the film being people trying to help others and make the world a better place (even after having been badly damaged themselves). I love that the term “pay it forward” became common vernacular, and I still use the phrase myself. This movie popped into my mind recently, because I had an experience. Well, three, actually. I was on my way to a morning book signing, so out of bed earlier than usual, and wanted a Starbuck’s coffee for the road. I approached the door behind a young man, probably early 20’s, dressed in a stylish blue and white checked shirt, colored jeans, and trendy sneakers. He opened the door for me and gave me a handsome smile. I smiled back, and said “thank you.” He was attractive; if I had to guess his ethnic background…maybe a combination of some Hispanic, some Caucasian, some African, who knows? At any rate, he was a beautiful person, dressed casually but nicely, and his heart touched mine by the way he smiled at me when he opened the door. He didn’t seem to be in a hurry, so I didn’t step aside to let him capture his place at the head of the line (where he would have been had he not opened the door for me), yet I felt a strong desire to buy his coffee. I can’t explain it – the feeling was quite persistent. Yet of course I had no idea what he was going to order. So I ordered my 16 oz. skinny mocha and watched the man sit down around the corner from the counter to wait for his order. When mine was ready, I picked it up, stepped back to the cashier and asked him to give the young man in the blue and white checked shirt a $5 gift card along with his order. The cashier thought I was “so nice” and asked if I’d like to pick out the card, which I did. Again, while saying how nice I was, the cashier asked if I’d like him to say anything. I said, “Just tell him the woman ahead of him in line wanted to buy him a coffee.” The cashier said, “You are so nice!” Which begs a question. All I did was put a $5 bill on the counter, to exchange for a Starbucks gift card, to give to the polite young guy who flashed me a nice smile as he was opening the door for me…and the lovely Starbucks employee, closer to my age, with a beaming face, said to me three times in as many minutes how nice I am. Being nice isn’t all that rare, is it? Later that day, I found myself giving a free Six Degrees to Your Dreams book to an employee in the grocery store who clearly needed to start dreaming again. She thanked me profusely. I have no idea if she’ll even read it, but I saw and felt her gratitude. Then, a couple of days later, I diverted off my normal grocery shopping aisles to look for a special card. Long story short, I met a special couple on my honeymoon cruise back in 1994. Our friendship lasted longer than my marriage, which ended in 2006. Ms. Paula recently called to tell me that Ed had been diagnosed with colon cancer, metastasized to other organs. How do you pick out a card for something like that? I didn’t want to call, because I know how sick Ed has been feeling with the chemo pills and such. He doesn’t have a lot of energy. I started to cry when Paula and I were talking, but she needed me not to go there, and to be strong with her. So, I did the best I could under the circumstances. I waited until I found the right card, and the right words to share in a letter. I found some old pictures to scan, depicting our friendship over the years, and put the envelope in the mail right before Ed’s birthday. I’m sharing this because of what happened at Safeway, where I bought the card. The cashier asked how my day was, and I said “Great!” Which, mostly it was. And then the conversation went like this: Me: “And how about yours?” Cashier: “The same.” Pause. “I am congratulating myself today, as a mother, for successfully raising my son to his 22nd birthday.” Me: “Congratulations!” (I was step-mom of three boys for over 12 years, and remember the teenage part of that. It wasn’t pretty.) “Does this mean you finally have an empty nest?” Cashier: “Not quite yet. He still has more to learn and I have more to teach him.” Me: “Well, I wish you the best. And, by the way, here is one hard thing for me today – purchasing this card.” I briefly explained as the groceries were being bagged. And the cashier leaned over, across the physical and social boundaries between employee and customer, to touch my arm. She said, “Your friend is lucky to have you in her life.” We both teared up. I thanked her and said I was lucky to have them as friends in my life. Reflecting back, the cashier may have said your friend is grateful to have you in her life, and it didn’t occur to me to say at that moment how lucky and grateful her son was to have her in his life. It was a moment of some things being said, some not, and in the end just the heart coming out. So, pay it forward. Pay it backward. Spread love, however and wherever your authentic nature most wants to. Let your heart come out. It’s the best feeling in the world. Authentically Yours, Laura